Our Week

This past week has been a rough one for poor little Lola. I guess I should say it has been a rough week for both Lola and Rob. Lola’s first top tooth has finally made its appearance, but damn has it been painful for her. She has wanted nothing but to be near one of us and, surprisingly, another side effect of her teething has been an incredible increase in hunger. We recently began the transition from formula to whole milk, but it really hasn’t been a transition at all as she simply loves milk! She went from drinking three to four bottles of formula a day to now at least five to six bottles of milk along with at least two full solid meals and an ungodly amount of snacks. Lola just loves to eat these days which is amazing to see because she has always been on the smaller side (hello 10th percentile).

While I have been busy working, Rob’s stay-at-home duties have become a bit challenging. He tries to push Lola through different therapy tools, but all she does is eat, shit, whimper and want to be held. She isn’t interested in exploring on the floor since she now has figured out to sit up from the lying down position. Just yesterday she has learned how to use her arms for balance while she pulls out her leg from under her bottom. It’s not the most graceful maneuver, but wow does it make me happy to see. Things are clicking in that tiny brain of hers. Rob taught her how to bang toys together which she now does on her own. This may seem like a small task, but it was a goal Lola’s Service Coordinator from First Steps set for her. And in my opinion, I think she is in the beginning stages of crawling. I’m starting to think perhaps she will skip right over that army crawling stage and go straight to crawling. As I said tummy time is very limited these days since Lola knows she can simply sit up, but in those rare moments she is in the crawling position, she’ll lift an arm forward in what looks like an effort to move. And just today, she began lifting one arm followed by the other. I have never witnessed a baby try to crawl, but I think this is a good sign. She is realizing she can get to that lit up toy if she just inches a bit forward and I’ll be damned if she isn’t trying at least. I won’t put pressure on her and say “I think she’ll be crawling by “, but I will say it is in the near horizon. What a rock star that kid is!

We all have a very busy week ahead of us. I know the blog isn’t updated to state our location, but we live in Indianapolis where the Super Bowl will be taking place a week from today. The brunch cafe I work at will be open for dinner on a few nights, so I’ll be working doubles meaning Rob will be with Lola for the entire day and night. I’m trying not to be sappy, but it is rare that I am not with Lola during her nightly routine. We generally take a shower or bath, I guide her to crawl as she giggles because she is naked, I blow dry her hair, she eats dinner, she eats a bottle and I snuggle her in my arms until she falls asleep. Judge all you want for letting her fall asleep in my arms, but it comforts both of us. Spending the day away from her makes me want her to know I am close once again. I am there to comfort her, to attempt to sing to her, to tell her I love her over and over again. Some nights she doesn’t want to snuggle and that’s fine too. I simply lie her down and off she goes into dreamland on her own. There is a level of communication between us that seems much older than that of a one year old and her mother. She knows I know what she needs and there are times I believe she knows what I need. Selfishly, I’ve been longing for her to need me more. It’s difficult when you have a child that has a vision impairment. There are days when I want to walk in and have her anxiously put her arms up so that I’ll pick her up. Or days when I wish I could help motivate her to crawl by her seeing me. Sure she can hear my voice and obviously she sees something, but Lola doesn’t have those overwhelming emotions that most babies do. So I think I have been giving in to her wants this week due to teething because I just want to feel needed. It’s what we mothers live for…to be needed by our children. But then I quickly get a reality check when I see a baby at my work wailing because the mother won’t pick him up. The poor girl couldn’t even get a cup of coffee on her own because the child was (for lack of a better term) too needy. So I’ll take Lola’s own way of needing me, but I’ll allow myself to occasionally grieve. I would be lying if I said I didn’t.

Tuesday is going to be a big day for Miss Lola. She and I will be touring the Indiana School for the Blind and Visually Impaired along with a friend of mine. My friends sister happens to not only be a teacher at the school, but she also sits on the Board of Directors. Along with the tour, she is getting us in contact with a woman who is an expert in children with neurological vision impairments. At some point, she will even come out to our house to help us understand what it is that Lola sees and how we can adjust her daily life to help Lola reach her maximum vision potential. I am so utterly excited about the tour as it could very well be where Lola will be going to school someday. Along with the tour, Lola has an appointment with her new neurologist. We are looking forward to hearing what Dr. Patel has to say about Lola’s condition as we have been trying to interpret Spanglish from Dr. Luna. As amazing as he was, I prefer to speak English with someone regarding my child’s brain.

So lots going on and I promise I will try to keep you all updated. Rob was to make his grand debut on the blog, but he has been incredibly busy with Lola. I have to publicly thank him because he is indeed an amazing dad and husband. While I wish I was home with Lola, I think Rob and Lola needed this time together. I see their bond growing stronger every day and I know my worried heart needed a break as well.