Halloween and Happiness

I know we’ve been absent for a few days, but Rob and I have begun the tedious task of preparing to move. While we still have a month before we board that plane back home, we would like to actually enjoy our final weeks with our family and friends rather than scrambling around to get everything in order. We only have two more weeks of work and then we are libre! I want to soak up that time with my Mom and Steve because as excited as I am to go home, I’m sure going to miss them. So not only have we been working at the hotel, we’ve also been getting medical records translated, ordering Lola’s mountain of medication we intend to bring back, trying to sell stuff, getting everything set up for the dogs, I could go on and on, but needless to say…we’ve been busy as you can very well see by the disorganized apartment we are now living in.
[frame align=”center”][/frame] Sadly the room that was Lola’s nursery just yesterday is now back to being the hotel office. It brings back so many memories of getting it all set up. The excitement, nervousness and anticipation that we both felt knowing our baby girl would soon be with us. This room that I am now writing this post from is where I always felt the safest and the most at peace. Even though Lola rarely slept in here (thanks to the co-sleeper), I was always fond of this room. Now looking around…well it feels foreign and empty even though it is overloaded with random stuff. I know Lola’s nursery in Indianapolis won’t be created overnight, but I look forward to the day that it brings me the peace that this room once brought.

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And how is Lolita? Well I think someone came along and replaced our Lola with a completely different baby and I mean that in the best way possible. Holy shit can Lola see these days!! I know, I’m a mother and I should probably clean up my mouth, but holy shit!! It’s the most remarkable thing to see this transformation in her vision. While most people from afar probably wouldn’t notice a difference (so much that a stranger actually asked me what was wrong with her vision), we are witnessing drastic changes. Lola is grabbing at toys simply by looking at them. She hasn’t been patting around to find them and we haven’t been enticing her with sounds. She just sees a toy and reaches out to grab it. A few days ago Rob said he had this eerie feeling that someone was looking at him, well he looked down to find Lola staring right at him. Yesterday as I was paying the cashier at the store, Lola saw a woman holding something with Barbie on it and reached right out and took it from her. As much as I should have been like “no no Lola”, I was grinning ear-to-ear with astonishment! I can’t tell you the feeling I get when my daughter is looking right at me and I mean right at me.

Now thinking back, everyone always told me after Lola is born, she will be put on your chest, you two will exchange eye contact and she will know that you are her mother. Well we never had that. Sure she knew who I was because she used other senses, but she never curiously looked at me. We didn’t know then that Lola had a vision impairment so I just assumed her vision hadn’t really kicked in yet. I waited and waited, but the eye contact never came. We would soon find out about Lola’s sight and everything just made sense. Looking back at all of her pictures, she rarely looked at the camera. So I can’t express the pure joy Rob and I get when we see our daughter looking at us. We were prepared for a life without it because even Dr. Luna couldn’t predict how much of Lola’s vision could be repaired (via new neuropathways) and we were OK with it. But something is changing in Lola’s sight. Is it the therapy? Maybe. The fish oil? Very well could be. I don’t know what it is, but I feel like screaming “hallelujah the girl can see!”

And it’s not just the sight. Lola has become incredibly affectionate in the past couple of weeks. The newborn reflex that keeps Lola’s hands near her has started to let go. She hugs, she snuggles, she lays her head on my shoulder as I walk and she wraps her arms around me. Oh how it warms my heart. I’m sure I’m creating a future monster, but she can’t sleep without someone touching her. Last night as an experiment, I would rub her leg and she would relax. I would stop and she would begin to cry. I would begin again and she would relax again. I suppose it’s somewhat like the peace this room once brought me, Lola feels safe when someone is near. I get that it is a habit I will have to break someday in the future, but for now I’m going to let her have that peace.

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Are you ready to see the prettiest Pumpkin Princess ever?

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Halloween is not exactly celebrated in Costa Rica. Well they recognize it by putting out pumpkins and candy in the stores, but only because of us Gringo’s. Lola’s $7.00 thrift shop costume looked so itchy, I only made her wear it for about 15 minutes. Just enough time for a few pics and we were done. But I couldn’t help that she looked so damn cute in that hat so I made her wear it while we were out today.

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And yes I cleaned her off with sanitizer after her excursion in the grocery cart. The chicken breasts made such good padding for her little tush, I couldn’t move them!

Happy Halloween everyone!!