The Weight is Lifted

Two days ago once again I saw my OB-GYN from afar. I was at the hospital with someone and I saw him walk by so I quickly turned in the opposite direction. Then he went into the bathroom right next to where I was standing, so I hauled ass out of the hospital in fear of how our exchange may have played out. As I was driving home in tears with red blotches all over my chest, I decided I had had enough. It was time to battle this demon and just write the man. Obviously emotions were still running high and clearly I wasn’t getting over it on my own. So I came home and wrote him. . . and boy am I happy I did. The...
Continue reading...

So here it goes

As I write this, I have a healthy baby sleeping ever so sweetly in my bed. She is perfect in every way which is why I feel almost guilty for guarding these inner feelings about her/my birth experience. I’ve been wondering why I can’t let it go and the only reason I can come up with is that I am deeply wounded by it. The fact that I cry every time I speak about it leads me to believe that I am not over it. And rather than bottling these feelings up, I’m going to do the unthinkable and that is actually talk about it. I’m going to let my anger be heard and hope that it allows me to find some peace with the situation. Who knows?...
Continue reading...

Bringing Lola Into the World

So this is a long birth story, but I figured I’ve been writing about all things related to my nine month long pregnancy… how could I possibly transition from one amazing part to the next in one measly paragraph? Remember the aura I was wondering if anyone felt before they went into labor? The internal (not physical) instinct that something profound was about to take place within your body? Well, let me tell you from my own personal experience… I didn’t feel it. On the night of January 3rd, I didn’t really have any physical signs nor spiritual intuitions that Lola was on her way. My husband made an extra spicy red curry for dinner that night and we both joked around saying that this could be the...
Continue reading...

Crazy Days Already – 2011

Given that I started off day one of this pregnancy with kidney stones (yes, that’s right…kidney stones), I have been on high alert for cramping and spotting because it was such a rocky start (ha ha, no pun intended lol!). I was so afraid that something awful might happen because of the circumstances. But now here I am almost full-term and I can’t wait for the cramping and spotting in hopes that it will be a sign that labor is on the way. Oh Lola, your mom has turned into a certified crazy ass broad!...
Continue reading...

Almost there

Here we are… 39 weeks! It is hard to believe that this part of the experience is almost over. I won’t lie, I’m a bit saddened by it. I know I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again because it is indeed almost over… I LOVE being pregnant. I think it is by far one of the best things I have ever experienced in my 29 years. I love it so much that I think I’d even be up for doing it again. This says a lot coming from the girl who couldn’t peel herself off the bathroom floor because she was so sick the entire first trimester. I feel guilty now, but I kept telling Rob how much I hated being pregnant back then. It’s kind...
Continue reading...