And Just Like That

Its been two days since I posted about Lola’s one month seizure free milestone and as I said before, you just never know when a seizure will emerge. This morning just happened to be that day. Something seemed off about Lola this morning. She was unusually cranky, her vision was erratic (running into tables, large chairs, etc), she was extra mean to her brother and she was moaning/crying non-stop. This is a day when communication with words would have been stellar. We had no idea what was wrong. I hear parents complain that their kid talks too much and I want to punch them in the face. Too harsh? But seriously, I would have given anything for my daughter to have been able to articulate her frustrations this...
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Where We’re at Today With Epilepsy

November is National Epilepsy Awareness Month and for as much as epilepsy has impacted our family, you’d think I could easily write about it. Yet I’m sitting here with a blank screen. I wouldn’t really call it writer’s block since I only show up on this blog every now and then. I think it’s because I try so hard to go on as if epilepsy isn’t part of our life. Like if I don’t acknowledge its presence that maybe it will simply go away. But that’s not fair to Lola and it’s not fair to the readers of this blog. So lets talk about epilepsy and what it means to my family. Today Lola is one month seizure free. This is exciting yet I’m hesitant to share this...
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I Lied About Being Able to Relax

“What do you do to relax and how do you know once you’ve achieved relaxation?” Simple question, right? I was sitting in a circle with maybe a dozen other people. All of us parents of children who have vision impairments among other ‘different-abilities’. For once, I didn’t feel vulnerable sharing pieces of me that I tend to tuck away until the time is right. We were all together for the annual Visually Impaired Preschool Services (VIPS) Family Retreat in Louisville, Kentucky. Lola was over at the Respite Camp and I was excited to be working at the Retreat as a VIPS employee. And while I am indeed an employee, I still and will always be a VIPS mom. Just as the other parents and caregivers in attendance, I’m...
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Oh Life, Please Settle Down

Well, I started this post last week and then every kid disease and ailment took over my house. Lola was sick and it turned out it was Hand, Foot, Mouth Disease. I think Rob and I had it last weekend and of course Sebastian got it too. Aggghhh!! I didn’t even know what the heck HFMD was until I learned about the epidemic it has become in Indiana this year. Plus Sebastian is teething. And then throw Lola’s epilepsy on top of all of it. Well, it’s been just an epic couple of weeks in the Howell house. I should be doing nice things for myself in this downtime, but I think I’ll go and disinfect my house, my mind and my soul from all of this crap...
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Today’s Silence Comes With an Unfair Price

Something strange and wonderful is happening in my house right now. I’m sitting here sipping my coffee while trying to organize all of the thoughts in my head. I hear the whisper of the fan, I hear the rhythmic pattern of the washer and I can even hear the rumbling of my stomach telling me to go eat breakfast. What is missing this morning is the usual chaotic noise that is generally found in my home. There are no kids laughing or crying, the dogs aren’t barking because they are being attacked by Lola or Sebastian (OK – mostly Lola) and the TV isn’t displaying its normal morning show — Curious George. Instead I’m sitting here alone and in silence. I should say that I’m missing all of...
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