Bringing Sebastian into the World

×This is a day late as life just became too busy to get it published. Exactly one month ago today, Rob and I dropped Lola off at the sitters and told her she’d be a big sister soon. We kissed her goodbye and as we left tears returned to my already flooded eyes. I was just a couple days shy of being 41 weeks pregnant and per my doctor’s advice (for reasons I’m choosing to remain private about), I was going to induce labor. The decision had been made the day prior and for some reason, it wasn’t sitting well with me. While it was ultimately my choice, the thought of forcing our unborn child into the world made me feel somewhat guilty. I pictured our child all...
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We Have a Son!

Sebastian Edward Howell was born on January 10th, 2014 weighing 10 lbs 6 oz (yes…you read that correctly!) and measuring 22 inches in length. We are over the moon with happiness and couldn’t be more grateful to have Sebastian in our lives. Lola is slowly beginning to warm up to him although she doesn’t really seem to care whether he is around or not. She likes to call him Bubba and on occasion she’ll lean in and give him kisses yet this is usually followed by an attempted grab at his face. The terms “touch nice” are currently the most used phrase of the Howell household. I would love to share more, but I’m going to relish in these amazingly precious moments with my family. I’ll be back...
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Awkward, uncomfortable, odd, upsetting

I knew the day would come when I would run into the OB-GYN that delivered Lola.  For those of you that missed the story you can read the edited or the unedited version.  I guess you could say that I’m not quite over the way this doctor treated me.  I thought I had moved on, but when I saw him my heart literally sank into my stomach and this was the sign that I was still emotionally injured by this man.   So here I am at Office Depot.  I have Lolita in her stroller.  I’m enjoying my freedom away from the hotel.  I’m piecing together Father’s Day ideas for my husband.  Then out of the corner of my eye I see a doctor in scrubs.  I think...
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So here it goes

As I write this, I have a healthy baby sleeping ever so sweetly in my bed. She is perfect in every way which is why I feel almost guilty for guarding these inner feelings about her/my birth experience. I’ve been wondering why I can’t let it go and the only reason I can come up with is that I am deeply wounded by it. The fact that I cry every time I speak about it leads me to believe that I am not over it. And rather than bottling these feelings up, I’m going to do the unthinkable and that is actually talk about it. I’m going to let my anger be heard and hope that it allows me to find some peace with the situation. Who knows?...
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