Today begins the third week of something I’ve looked forward to for a long time now…I’m officially a stay at home mama (SAHM). OK, I fibbed a bit. I still work two days a week, but for the most part I am immersed in Lola’s life every single day. And I have to say…I absolutely love it.
I won’t go into full details about the transition, but lets just say Rob landed what many call “a dream job”. He is incredibly happy and while I know he misses his time with Lola, he was more than ready to embark on this next chapter in his life. I have to thank him for everything he has done for our girl. Most men would never make it as a stay at home dad, but not Rob — he flourished in it. He built a life that was fun for Lola yet he kept structure in her routines as well. He kept me involved by telling me intimate details about their day yet he shielded me on days when worry set in for our Lola. He chauffeured Lola to all of the alternative therapies I wanted to try and never made me feel as if they were not worth it even if some didn’t work out for us. He just was a really good dad. I take that back. He is a really good dad. This is why it felt right to bring another baby into our world. Rob, Lola and I have too much love to give and this baby will feel it the moment he or she arrives.
Speaking of arrival…the baby is due to make his or her grand entrance in just eight weeks.
Eight weeks folks.
This is precisely why Rob’s new job couldn’t have come at a better time. I am feeling every bit of 32 weeks pregnant. I have any and every symptom imaginable…symptoms I didn’t even know existed because my pregnancy with Lola seemed so easy and smooth. Insane heartburn, restless leg syndrome, sciatica, a complete inability to sleep and much much more. Lately the baby thoroughly enjoys trying to exit via my abdomen which can be incredibly painful. I can’t wait to show him videos of this crazy acrobatic move. But I am truly trying to enjoy my final eight weeks of being a pregnant woman (especially because I will most likely never be pregnant again), but I’m getting to that uncomfortable stage. And with all of those physical ailments that come along with being pregnant, I am feeling the emotional aspects as well. I cry for no reason, I am elated with joy one minute and nervous with fears in the next breath. I am relishing in my time with Lola because I worry that I won’t have enough love to give her once the baby is born. I know this isn’t true, but hormones can create bizarre twists in the mind.
My baby girl will start full day preschool right around the time the new baby is due to be born so this time is precious for Lola and me. I didn’t realize how much would be gained from my being home with her, but the dynamic of our relationship has changed. When I worked full-time, I was this whimsical mom who would take her on my shopping adventures or whatever errand needed to be run that day. I probably missed many intimate moments because there was always something to be done. But now, I get to be a part of everything she does. These days it is me who gets to call Rob and say “guess what Lola did today”, it is me who gets to see her when she thrives and as difficult as it can be, it is me who helps when challenges arise for her. She needed me and I needed her. This time was meant for the two of us. It is time for our bond to strengthen, for our love to grow and for our souls to connect even deeper. She’ll soon be sharing me and while I don’t think she gets the full extent of how drastic our lives will be changing, I think she has a sense of the change to come. She is awfully intuitive for someone of her young age. She always has been.