Penned by Meredith
It is hard to believe that in twelve weeks or less we will be parents to a little baby girl. I feel like just yesterday, I was beginning to write about this experience and now it is truly becoming a reality. I won’t lie… I’m scared. We’re scared. What do we know about being parents? Nothing. Our maternal/paternal instincts will just kick in right? I ask myself this question daily yet I still don’t feel like I know the answers. Perhaps it will just take the moment that she physically enters our exterior world that we will know… yes, we do have those instincts. What we do know at this point is that we already love this little being as if she has always been part of our lives.
We’ve been busy reading up on her weekly progression. It’s hard to imagine that she’s almost 15 inches long and over two pounds! I wonder where the extra 20 I have gained has come from then?! According to one of my favorite sites, www.babycenter.com she’s about the size of a Chinese cabbage. Seems to be an odd comparison to me, but whatever can give you that visual I suppose.
She is as active as ever. During our last appointment, Dr. Nisman laughed as he told us she had long legs like her father. They are apparently over a week ahead of the rest of her body growth. I’m beginning to notice these legs more and more each day. What used to be a little love butterfly tap has now turned into a full blown ninja kick. I’ve recently began to feel her under my ribs. I have always heard about this, but couldn’t imagine the feeling. Well, it is indeed as uncomfortable as they say. The first time I felt it, I had originally thought it was the seat belt that was causing such discomfort. I went to move it and noticed I was still in a bit of pain and then she started with her kicking which made me realize that it’s my Lola that was causing this.
I may have a naive question, but will I miss having her inside of me? You can ask anyone that knows me, I am a sentimental sap. I hold on to the most random things as keepsakes because I simply can’t fathom parting with them. After my dad died, I was forced to clean out his entire house. It was amazing how bad I felt for getting rid of things like his old bills, his ties, his socks, anything that would remind me of him. I still have a storage unit in Indianapolis full of these things. So, I’m afraid that I will miss that bond that only her and I can share. Of course I want to share her with the rest of the world, her father most importantly. But, there are nights when I can’t sleep and she’ll be kicking (as that is her favorite time to) and I just feel relaxed knowing that she’s there with me. It may sound silly and I know the second she’s in this world with me this will probably all seem ridiculous, but I just have this tiny bit of fear that I’m going to feel as if my body has lost something. I would love for anyone who reads this blog to chime in if you or someone you know has felt something similar.
Rob and I go in next week to have Lola’s follow-up exam with the pediatric cardiologist. We’re hoping for more good news as the last test had this woman in a tizzy. At our last OB-GYN appointment, Lola did not have the extra heartbeat that she had had in her last cardiologist appointment, so that was a relief in itself. It’s truly remarkable how well we are taken care of by our doctors. I feel very blessed and am so grateful to be surrounded by the team of people that take care of us and Lola. I hope that someday they will read this blog to see how much their care and support means to us.
So, other than the acid reflux, the incredibly paralyzing leg cramps, the constant need to eat and the occasional moodiness… this soon-to-be mom is in pretty good shape. I look good (or so everyone says, the body change image is still something I struggle with), I feel great and I can’t wait to meet baby Lola. Now if only we could come up with her middle name!